*Joke of the day*
*What is the Opposite of Laughing Buddha?*
*Gautam Gambhir*
Sunday 9 April 2017
*खुशवंत सिंह* के लिखे ज़िंदगी के दस सूत्र ।
इन दसों सूत्रों को पढ़ने के बाद पता चला कि सचमुच खुशहाल ज़िंदगी और शानदार मौत के लिए ये सूत्र बहुत ज़रूरी हैं।
1. *अच्छा स्वास्थ्य* - अगर आप पूरी तरह स्वस्थ नहीं हैं, तो आप कभी खुश नहीं रह सकते। बीमारी छोटी हो या बड़ी, ये आपकी खुशियां छीन लेती हैं।
2. *ठीक ठाक बैंक बैलेंस* - अच्छी ज़िंदगी जीने के लिए बहुत अमीर होना ज़रूरी नहीं। पर इतना पैसा बैंक में हो कि आप आप जब चाहे बाहर खाना खा पाएं, सिनेमा देख पाएं, समंदर और पहाड़ घूमने जा पाएं, तो आप खुश रह सकते हैं। उधारी में जीना आदमी को खुद की निगाहों में गिरा देता है।
3. *अपना मकान* - मकान चाहे छोटा हो या बड़ा, वो आपका अपना होना चाहिए। अगर उसमें छोटा सा बगीचा हो तो आपकी ज़िंदगी बेहद खुशहाल हो सकती है।
4. *समझदार जीवन साथी* - जिनकी ज़िंदगी में समझदार जीवन साथी होते हैं, जो एक-दूसरे को ठीक से समझते हैं, उनकी ज़िंदगी बेहद खुशहाल होती है, वर्ना ज़िंदगी में सबकुछ धरा का धरा रह जाता है, सारी खुशियां काफूर हो जाती हैं। हर वक्त कुढ़ते रहने से बेहतर है अपना अलग रास्ता चुन लेना।
5. *दूसरों की उपलब्धियों से न जलना* - कोई आपसे आगे निकल जाए, किसी के पास आपसे ज़्यादा पैसा हो जाए, तो उससे जले नहीं। दूसरों से खुद की तुलना करने से आपकी खुशियां खत्म होने लगती हैं।
6. *गप से बचना* - लोगों को गपशप के ज़रिए अपने पर हावी मत होने दीजिए। जब तक आप उनसे छुटकारा पाएंगे, आप बहुत थक चुके होंगे और दूसरों की चुगली-निंदा से आपके दिमाग में कहीं न कहीं ज़हर भर चुका होगा।
7. *अच्छी आदत* - कोई न कोई ऐसी हॉबी विकसित करें, जिसे करने में आपको मज़ा आता हो, मसलन गार्डेनिंग, पढ़ना, लिखना। फालतू बातों में समय बर्बाद करना ज़िंदगी के साथ किया जाने वाला सबसे बड़ा अपराध है। कुछ न कुछ ऐसा करना चाहिए, जिससे आपको खुशी मिले और उसे आप अपनी आदत में शुमार करके नियमित रूप से करें।
8. *ध्यान* - रोज सुबह कम से कम दस मिनट ध्यान करना चाहिए। ये दस मिनट आपको अपने ऊपर खर्च करने चाहिए। इसी तरह शाम को भी कुछ वक्त अपने साथ गुजारें। इस तरह आप खुद को जान पाएंगे।
9. *क्रोध से बचना* - कभी अपना गुस्सा ज़ाहिर न करें। जब कभी आपको लगे कि आपका दोस्त आपके साथ तल्ख हो रहा है, तो आप उस वक्त उससे दूर हो जाएं, बजाय इसके कि वहीं उसका हिसाब-किताब करने पर आमदा हो जाएं।
10. *अंतिम समय* - जब यमराज दस्तक दें, तो बिना किसी दुख, शोक या अफसोस के साथ उनके साथ निकल पड़ना चाहिए अंतिम यात्रा पर, खुशी-खुशी। शोक, मोह के बंधन से मुक्त हो कर जो यहां से निकलता है, उसी का जीवन सफल होता है।
*मुझे नहीं पता कि खुशवंत सिंह ने पीएचडी की थी या नहीं। पर इन्हें पढ़ने के बाद मुझे लगने लगा है कि ज़िंदगी के डॉक्टर भी होते हैं। ऐसे डॉक्टर ज़िंदगी बेहतर बनाने का फॉर्मूला देते हैं । ये ज़िंदगी के डॉक्टर की ओर से ज़िंदगी जीने के लिए दिए गए नुस्खे है।*
Saturday 8 April 2017
Wife: Meri sharafat dekho..
Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli...
Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho..
Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya..
😝😝😝😝😝😝
Wife: Phone pe itni dheemi awaaz mein kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Husband: Behen hai..!
Wife: To fir itni dheemi aawaz mein kis liye?
Husband: Teri hai is liye.. 😰😰😂😂😂
WIFE: Suno ji, agar tumhare baal isi raftaar se jhadte rahe toh main tumhein talaaq de doongi!!
Pati: Ya Allah, aur main paagal inko bachaane ki koshish kar raha tha.....
☺😝😱😏
Wife: Tum Saari Duniya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi......
Husband: Tum Kya Samajhti Ho? Main Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon ga..! Hadd Ho Gayi..
😛😜😂😝😛
Taxiwala:-
"Saheb Break fail ho gayi hai, Gaadi rukti nahi, kya karu?"
Passenger :- "PEHLE TU METER BAND KAR.!"
😂😂😝😂😂
Jagjit Singh singing- Yeh daulat bhi lelo, yeh shaurat bhi lelo..
Suddenly Santa stands up & says-Main toh bahut pareshan hoon, meri toh aurat bhi lelo....
😜😂😛😝😂😜
............................................
Tufaani baarish Aadhi raat
Ek aadmi pizza hut se pizza lene gaya
Pizza wala:- aap married ho??
Aadmi:- saale, aise tufaan me kaunsi maa apne bete ko pizza lene bhejegi..
........................................
Difference between talent and god's gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.
A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is god's gift. 😜
.......................................
Bhikhari (Car mein bethi lady se): "Madam 10 Rs dedo..!" Lady ne paise de diye... . . Bhikhari jane laga tabi... . . Lady boli:- Baba Dua To Dete Jao..! . . . . Bhikhari:- BMW Mein To Baithi Hai Moti... Ab Kya... "Rocket Pe Baithegi..!!!" 😆😆😆😆
.............................................
TV Reporter ne ek zakhmi se pucha:
Jab Bomb gira to kya vo jor se gira?
Zakhmi gusse me:
Nahi Saale, vo rengta hua mere paas aya aur sharma k bola..... dhummm.!!!😀😀😀
Ek Aadmi medical shop par Zeher lene gya..
aadmi : ek zehar ki bottle dena
Dukandar: Bina Parchi k zehar nhi mil skta
Aadmi ne Marriage Certificate dikhaya..
Dukandar: Bas kr Pagle, rulayega kya ? Badi bottle du ya chhoti ? 😉🙈🙈🙈😉😂😜
अजी सुनते हो : मैं मार्केट जा रही हूँ आपको कुछ चाहिए तो बता दो लौटते वक्त ले आऊंगी।
पति: हाँ , मुझे जीवन का सही अर्थ चाहिये?
जीवन की सार्थकता क्या है वो चाहिए?
मुझे आत्मा और परमात्मा का संवाद करवाना है जिसमे से मुझे मेरा अस्तित्व चाहिए ह ै?
मुझे मोक्ष का आनंद चाहिए है??
पत्नी(गंभीर स्वर में ) : *ब्लेंडर्स प्राईड🍺🍺🍾🍾 या सिग्नेचर 🥃🥃🥃🥃???*
.
😁😁😄😜😂
बाप - बेटा एक कोल्ड्रिँक ला दे तो...
बेटा - कौन सी लाउं पेप्सी या ड्यू?
बाप - पेप्सी
बेटा - काँच की या प्लास्टिक ?
बाप - प्लास्टिक की
बेटा - छोटी या बड़ी?
बाप - बद्तमीज ! नही चाहिए, खाली पानी पीला दे
बेटा - सादा या नमक वाला?
बाप - सादा !
बेटा - ठंडा या गरम?
बाप - भाग हरामखोर
बेटा - धीमा या तेज?
बाप - मार दूंगा?
बेटा - चप्पल से या डंडे से?
बाप - जानवर कहीं का...
बेटा - कौन सा कुत्ता या बंदर?
बाप - सामने से हट जा मेरे
बेटा - लेफ्ट या राइट ?
बाप - मेरे हाथो मारा जाएगा तू आज
बेटा - चाकू से या बंदूक से?
बाप - चाकू से
बेटा - तड़पाके या डायरेक्ट ?
बाप - अभी जा मेरे बाप !!!
मेरा बीपी हाई हो रहा है ।
बेटा - डॉक्टर को बुलाउं या डॉक्टर के पास ही चले ?
बाप - बेहोश
बेटा - लगता है पिताजी बुरा मान गए
यही बच्चा आगे चलकर
From Katherine Hepburn
Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus.
Finally, there was only one other family between us and the ticket counter. This family made a big impression on me.
There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12. The way they were dressed, you could tell they didn't have a lot of money, but their clothes were neat and clean.
The children were well-behaved, all of them standing in line, two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, animals, and all the acts they would be seeing that night. By their excitement you could sense they had never been to the circus before. It would be a highlight of their lives.
The father and mother were at the head of the pack standing proud as could be. The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up at him as if to say, "You're my knight in shining armor." He was smiling and enjoying seeing his family happy.
The ticket lady asked the man how many tickets he wanted? He proudly responded, "I'd like to buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets, so I can take my family to the circus." The ticket lady stated the price.
The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, the man's lip began to quiver. Then he leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say?" The ticket lady again stated the price.
The man didn't have enough money. How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus?
Seeing what was going on, my dad reached into his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill, and then dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!) My father bent down, picked up the $20 bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, sir, this fell out of your pocket."
The man understood what was going on. He wasn't begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking and embarrassing situation.
He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with his lip quivering and a tear streaming down his cheek, he replied; "Thank you, thank you, sir. This really means a lot to me and my family."
My father and I went back to our car and drove home. The $20 that my dad gave away is what we were going to buy our own tickets with.
Although we didn't get to see the circus that night, we both felt a joy inside us that was far greater than seeing the circus could ever provide.
*That day I learnt the value to Give.*
*The Giver is bigger than the Receiver.*
*If you want to be large, larger than the life, learn to Give.*
*Only if you Give can you Receive more. The Givers heart becomes the Ocean, in tune with the Almighty - The Source*
*Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.*
A Young Man Rama Swami Died An Untimely Death.
His Parents, Wife And Nine Year Old Son Were Crying Bitterly Sitting Next To His Dead Body.
They All Happened To Be Disciples Of A Holy Man Whom They Called 'Maharaj Ji'.
When Maharaj Ji Learnt That Rama Swami Had Died, He Came To Visit The Family.
He Entered The House And Found The Family Wailing Inconsolably.
Seeing Maharaj Ji, The Wife Started Crying Even Louder.
She Sobbed Saying, "Maharaj Ji, He Has Died Too Early, He Was So Young... Oh! I Would Do Anything To Make Him Alive Again. What Will Happen To Our Son? I'm So Helpless And Miserable."
Maharaj Ji Tried To Pacify The Crying Lady And The Old Parents, But The Loss Was Too Much For Them To Come To Terms With So Easily.
Eventually, Maharaj Ji Said, "Alright, Get Me A Glass Of Water."
Maharaj Ji Sat Near The Dead Body And Put The Glass Next To It. He Said, "Now, Who Ever Wants That Rama Swami Should Become Alive Again May Drink This Water. Rama Swami Shall Come Back To Life, But The Person Who Drinks The Water Shall Die Instead!"
Silence..!
"Come, Did You Not Say That Rama Swami Was The Sole Bread Winner Of The Family? Who Would die Instead Of Him? It Is A Case Of Fair Exchange, Isn't It?"
The Wife Looked At The Old Mother And The Old Mother Looked At The Wife. The Old Father Looked At Rama Swami's Son. But No One Came Forward...
Then Maharaj Ji Said To The Old Father, "Babuji, Wouldn't You Give Your Life For Your Son?"
The Old Man Said, "Well, I Have My Responsibility Towards My Wife. If I Die Who Will Look After Her? I Cannot Offer My Life To You."
Maharaj Ji Looked Questioningly At The Old Woman And Said, "Amma?"
Amma Said, "My Daughter Is Due To Deliver Her First Baby. She Will Be Coming To Stay For A Month...If I Die Who Will Look After Her And The Newborn. Why Don't You Ask Rama Swami's Wife?"
Maharaj Ji Smiled And Looked At The Young Widow. She Widened Her Tear Filled Eyes And Said, "Maharaj Ji, I Need To Live For My Son...If I Die,Who Will Look After Him? He Needs Me. Please Don't Ask Me To Do This Sacrifice.."
Maharaj Ji Asked The son, "Well Little Boy, Would You Like To Give Your Life For Your Father?"
Before The Boy Could Say Anything, His Mother Pulled Him To Her Breast And Said,..
"Maharaj Ji, Are You insane?.. My Son Is Only Nine. He Has Not Yet Lived His Life. How Could You Even Think Or Suggest Such A Thing?"
Maharaj Ji Said, "Well It Seems, That All Of You Are Very Much Needed For The Things You Need To Do In This World... It Seems Rama Swami Was The Only One That Could Be Spared...That Is Why God Chose To Take Him Away. So Shall We Now Proceed With His Last Rites?... It's Getting Late.."
Having Said That, Maharaj Ji Got Up And Left.
*Love Lasts As Long As Life Exists*
*The Rest Is Only Memories Of Happy Times..!*
"Be honest when in trouble and be simple when in wealth. Be polite when in authority and be silent when in anger".
This is called the life management!...
Medico Legal joke of the day
A recent article in the Times reported that a woman, Anita Patel , has sued a reputed Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in me .
A hospital spokesman replied in court:
"Mr. Patel was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was corrected his eyesight."😂😝😷😷
💆🏻♂💆🏻♂😴😴😴😴💆🏻♂💆🏻♂💆🏻♂
गुरु जी ने शिष्य से पूंछा - माता पार्वती ने भगवान शिव को वर क्यों चुना ? कारण सहित बताओ ।
शिष्य -🤑🤑🤑🤑
1- भगवान शिव कपडे नहीं पहनते थे इसलिए कपडे धोने का कोई लफढ़ा ही नहीं था ।
👚👕👖👗👖
2- माथे पर चांद विद्यमान है, लाइट ही लाइट बिजली जाने का डर नही।
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
3- जटाओं मे गंगाजी विराजती हैं पानी ही पानी , पम्प ख़राब होने की चिन्ता नहीं ।
💦💦💦💦💦💦💦
4- कंद मूल फल जो भगवान शिव खाऐगै वही हम खाऐगे अर्थात खाना बनाने की जरूरत नही।
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🌶🍅🍑🍒🍈🍓
5- न सास न ननद मतलब कोई लडाई झगड़े का डर नहीं ।
👰🏻👸🏻👸🏻🙎♂💁♂
6- पहाड पर घर था झाडू पोछे की चिंता नही
💨💨🌬🌬🌬💨💨
गुरु जी विधार्थी के पैर पकड़कर मुझे अपना शिष्य बना लो ब्रह्मज्ञानी
👣👣👣👏👏👏👏👏
🤓🤓🤓🤓🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑
*इन्हे भी आजमाइए - आसान घरेलू टिप्स*
1- यदि आपकी चाय फीकी बन गई हो तो उसमे चीनी डाल दे, चाय तुरन्त मीठी हो जायेगी।
2- नहाने में यदि पानी का प्रयोग किया जाय तो स्नान काफी अच्छा हो जायेगा।
3- पूड़ी बनाने के पहले यदि ऑटे की लोई को पूड़ी की तरह बेल कर तल लिया जाय, तो पूड़ी स्वादिष्ट बनेगी।
4- यदि आप पैसे की परेशानी से परेशान है तो अपने बैंक से पैसे निकाल लें, आपकी परेशानी दूर हो जायेगी।
5- यदि आपको रहने की समस्या है, तो एक अच्छा सा मकान बनवा कर तुरन्त रहना शुरु कर दे, समस्या दूर हो जायेगी।
6- यदि आपके गैस का चूल्हा, गैस खतम हो जाने की वजह से बुझ गया हो तो, तुरन्त एक गैस का भरा सिलण्डर लगा दे, चूल्हा जलने लगेगा।
7- यदि दाल या सब्जी मे नमक ज्यादा हो तो चिन्ता न करे, बस कुकर को खोलकर थोड़ी देर के लिये खुले नल के नीचे रख दे, चमत्कारी ढंग से नमक कम हो जायेगा।
मेरे पास ऐसे बहुत आईडिया है लेकिन कभी घमंड नहीं किया।
A superb article ...
👉When TV came to my house. I forgot how to read books. 👉When the car came to my doorstep, I forgot how to walk. 👉When I got the mobile in my hand, I forgot how to write letters. 👉When computer came to my house, I forgot spellings 👉When the AC came to my house, I stopped going under the tree for cool breeze👉When I stayed in the city, I forgot the smell of mud. 👉By dealing with banks and cards, I forgot the value of money. 👉With the smell of perfume, I forgot the fragrance of fresh flowers. 👉With the coming of fast food, I forgot to cook traditional cuisines .👉Always running around, I forgot how to stop. 👉👉And lastly when I got whatsapp, I forgot how to talk.🤔🤔🤔💐💐💐
A business man started a 'Zoo'. He fixed Rs. 50/- as entry fee nobody turned up then he reduced it to 25/- even though nobody turned then made it 20/- no use, later 15/-, 10/- no use. He decided to make it "Entry free" the next minute the Zoo was over crowded with lots of people. He closed the gates and displayed house full board & let the Tiger free inside the Zoo, crowd started rushing towards the gates & were shocked to see the Exit fees of Rs. 303/-.
The Zoo name is "RelianceJIO"
😃😃😃
*Charlie Chaplin
A Good Day to Recollect his 3 Heart Touching
Statements:
(1) Nothing is Permanent
in this World,
not even our
Troubles.
(2) I like Walking in
the Rain, because
NoBody can see
my Tears.
(3) The Most Wasted
Day in Life is the
Day in which we
have not Laughed.
LIFE is to Enjoy with
Whatever you have with
You, Keep Smiling...!
If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream/ Choclates/
Candy/ Cake...
Why...?
B'Coz...
STRESSED
backwards spelling is
DESSERTS...!!
Enjoy...!
Very Beautiful lines
Pls Store it.
ONE Good FRIEND
is equal to ONE
Good Medicine...!
Likewise ONE Good
Group is equal to ONE
Full medical store...!!
Six Best Doctors
in the World....
1.Sunlight,
2.Rest,
3.Exercise,
4.Diet,
5.Self Confidence
6.Friends.
Maintain them in all
stages of Life and
enjoy healthy life...!
If you see the Moon...
You see the Beauty of
God.....!
If you see the Sun...!
You see the power of
God....
And....
If you see the Mirror,
You see the Best
Creation of GOD...!
So,
Believe in YOURSELF.
We all are Tourists God is our Travel Agent
Who has already fixed
all our Routes, Reservations
Destinations
So....
Trust him Enjoy the
"Trip" called LIFE...!!
Life will never
come Again.!!
Live Today..!
Share to all People who
are Important to You..!!
*Energy Flows where Attention Goes.*
*Everything in our Universe is Energy.*
```We human beings are also Energy.
So it is very important to learn how Energy flows from from us & how it effects our lives.
When you say,
" I don't want War." You are giving your attention to War and where you give your attention, your Energy will flow there.
Law of Attraction will match your Energy with that and bring it in your Three Dimension reality.
So instead of saying, " I don't want War." you should say
"I want Peace."
Then your attention is on Peace, so you are giving your Energy to Peace and Law of Attraction will match your Energy with Peace and your life will be Peaceful.
This Universe works on Vibrations.
So similarly change your statements –
– Instead of saying
" I don't want to fail." say
"I want to Win"
– Instead of saying
"I don't want to be fat." say
"I want to be slim"
– Instead of saying
"I don't want to have a struggling job" say
"I want to have a happy and exciting job"
– Instead of saying
"I don't want to fight with my husband" say
"I want to have a happy relationship with my husband"
and so on..
Our thoughts are very powerful because Energy is transmitted through our thoughts.
If you think and speak about what you don't want, you will attract what you don't want!
But if you stop talking and thinking about what you don't want and change your vocabulary and only think and talk about what you want, then you will start attracting what you want, and what you don't want will gradually vanish from your life.
I believe from today you will stop thinking and talking about things that you don't want.
I will suggest you to remove few words from your dictionary like –
Depression/ Hatred/ Failure/ Illness/Disease/ War/ Fights/ Anxiety/ Struggle/ Debt/ Enemies/ Terrible/ Accidents
Changing your thought patterns will help you channelize your Energy & your Life will Change accordingly.
This will then create a Future with Abundance of Happiness, Joy, Peace & Prosperity.```
*God bless* ✨💖✨
What a clean joke
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
एक बादशाह था..
एक दिन मुखबिर ने बादशाह को बताया कि "सरकार बिलकुल आपकी शक्ल का एक धोबी आपके राज्य में रहता है "..
बादशाह ने आदेश दिया कि उससे दरबार में पेश किया जाये..
धोबी दरबार में हाज़िर होता है..
बादशाह धोबी को देखकर मुस्कुराया और पूछा :-
क्या पहले कभी तुम्हारी माँ इस दरबार में काम करती थी...??
धोबी :-
नहीं सरकार.. अब्बा हुज़ूर करते थे..
😝😝😝😝
ये अमरसिंह भी गजब की बला है..
दुनिया का सबसे बड़ा पनौती है ये आदमी.
जयाप्रदा के घर घुसा तो शौहर से तलाक़ करवाया,
अम्बानी के घर घुसा तो दोनो भाई मे तलवार खिचवा दी
अमिताभ बच्चन के घर घुसा तो ऐश्वर्या तथा जया बच्चन को अलग अलग घर मे शिफ्ट करवा दिया,
सुब्रत राय से जुड़ा तो जेल भेजवा दिया,
अब मुलायम सिंह के घर इंट्री मारा तो महाभारत पार्ट 2 करवा दिया।
भारत सरकार को अमर सिंह के फितरती दिमाग का फायदा अवश्य उठाना चाहिए, इन्हें चीन का राजदूत बना कर भेज देना चाहिए,
Beautiful interpretation of Ramayan🙏🙏
👌🏼'Ra' means light, 'Ma' means within me, in my heart. So,
Rama means the Light Within Me..
Rama was born to Dasharath & Kousalya.?
Dasharath means 'Ten Chariots'..
The ten chariots symbolize the five sense organs & five organs of action..
Kousalya means 'Skill'..
The skillful rider of the ten chariots can give birth to Ram..
When the ten chariots are used skillfully,
Radiance is born within..
Rama was born in Ayodhya.
Ayodhya means 'a place where no war can happen'..
When There Is No Conflict In Our Mind, Then The Radiance Can Dawn..
The Ramayana is not just a story which happened long ago..
It has a philosophical, spiritual significance and a deep truth in it..
It is said that the Ramayana is happening in Your Own Body.
Your Soul is Rama,
Your Mind is Sita,
Your Breath or Life-Force (Prana) is Hanuman,
Your Awareness is Laxmana and
Your Ego is Ravana..
When the Mind (Sita),is stolen by the Ego (Ravana), then the Soul (Rama) gets Restless..
Now the SOUL (Rama) cannot reach the Mind (Sita) on its own..
It has to take the help of the Breath – the Prana (Hanuman) by Being In Awareness(Laxmana)
With the help of the Prana (Hanuman), & Awareness(Laxmana),
The Mind (Sita) got reunited with The Soul (Rama) and The Ego (Ravana) died/ vanished..
In reality Ramayana is an eternal phenomenon happening all the time.👍
Friday 7 April 2017
अजी सुनते हो : मैं मार्केट जा रही हूँ आपको कुछ चाहिए तो बता दो लौटते वक्त ले आऊंगी।
पति: हाँ , मुझे जीवन का सही अर्थ चाहिये?
जीवन की सार्थकता क्या है वो चाहिए?
मुझे आत्मा और परमात्मा का संवाद करवाना है जिसमे से मुझे मेरा अस्तित्व चाहिए ह ै?
मुझे मोक्ष का आनंद चाहिए है??
पत्नी(गंभीर स्वर में ) : *ब्लेंडर्स प्राईड🍺🍺🍾🍾 या सिग्नेचर 🥃🥃🥃🥃???*
.
😁😁😄😜😂
हसना पेट पकड के..
दो महिलाओं की मुलाकात स्वर्ग में हुई.
पहली - कहो बहिन, तुम्हारी मौत कैसे हुई ?
दूसरी - ज्यादा ठण्ड लगने के कारण. और
तुम्हारी ?
पहली - हाई ब्लड प्रेशर के कारण. बात दरअसल यह हुई कि मुझे अपने पति पर शक था. एक दिन मुझे पता चला कि वो घर में किसी दूसरी औरत के साथ हैं. मैं फ़ौरन
घर पहुंची तो
देखा कि मेरे पति आराम से अकेले टीवी देख रहे हैं.
दूसरी - फिर क्या हुआ
पहली - खबर पक्की थी इसलिए मुझे विश्वास नहीं हुआ. मैंने उस औरत को घर के कोने कोने में, तहखाने में, पर्दों के पीछे, गार्डेन
में यहाँ तक कि अलमारी और संदूक तक में तलाश किया पर वह नहीं मिली. मुझे इतनी टेंशन हुई कि मेरा ब्लड प्रेशर बहुत बढ़ गया और मेरी मौत हो गई.
दूसरी - काश !!! तुमने फ्रिज खोलकर देख लिया होता तो आज हम दोनों जिन्दा होते...😜😜😜😜😜
😄😄😄😄😄
For ages, you have always used this word without even knowing if it was a legitimate word, haven't you?
So we decided to burst your bubble!
While the word 'promise' features in the Oxford Dictionary, there's no mention of 'mother promise'. Surprised?
Wondering how 'mother promise' came into being.
It's the literal English translation of 'ma kasam' or 'aai shapath'.
The next time you want to stand by something you really mean, try using just 'promise'. You don't really need to drag your mother into everything, do you?
2. *Cousin sister and cousin brother*
According to the Oxford Dictionary a 'cousin' is a child of one's uncle or aunt. And Grammar Nazis would insist that the word 'cousin' does not need to be followed with words like 'sister' or 'brother'. Did you know that 'cousin sister or cousin brother' are words used only in India. The right way is just to say 'cousin'. Wondering how you'd get to know their gender. Well, that's what names are for, aren't they?
3. *Good name*
When Indians meet strangers, why do they ask the question, 'What's your GOOD NAME?' Every parent or grandparent who has named the child, does it with a GOOD intention. So there's nothing bad about a name. The next time you meet a stranger, you could say 'What's your name?'
4. *Revert back*
Now this one's tricky! Because that's what you have been writing in e-mails, haven't you? Well according to The Free Dictionary 'revert' means 'to reply to someone'. Why use 'revert back' when you can just say 'revert'?
5. *Picture*
When was the last time you mentioned that you were going to 'watch a 'picture'?' No one really knows when 'picture' became synonymous with 'films' or 'movies' in India. According to the Oxford Dictionary, 'picture' means a drawing or painting. You could say 'I am going out to watch a movie or film'.
6. *Mention not*
Isn't it funny that every time someone thanks an Indian, they quickly turn around and say 'mention not'. We are still scratching our heads wondering how the word originated and what it means. There are plenty of ways you can accept someone's thanks.You can use any of the following:
You're welcome.
It's my pleasure.
That's alright.
No problem.
7. *Pass out*
How is it that every Indian graduating from college is passing out? Confused? Let's tell you the difference. When you are really drunk and become unconscious, you 'pass out'. But when you refer to a successful completion of a course or training, you use the word 'graduate'.
8. *Cheatercock*
We all have used this word in our childhood. Once, twice, thrice…we have lost count of the number of times we called someone a 'cheatercock'! But ever wondered what does the word mean? We are still wondering! According to the Oxford Dictionary, cheater is a person who acts dishonestly in order to gain advantage. Won't it be sufficient if we just said 'cheater'?
9. *Would be*
How would you introduce your fiance?
Amit: Hello uncle.
Uncle: Hello Amit.
Amit: Uncle, I would like to introduce you to my 'would be'.
Unfortunately Amit doesn't know that 'would be' means nothing. If you want to introduce your to-be bride then simply use 'fiancee'. How easy is that!😱🙄?😝🙏😇👫
I'm also guilty of using some....😜
🎂 *Why do Indians resist*
. *paying taxes ?*
_Interesting thoughts on why Indian resist paying taxes, in an open letter to the Prime Minister_.
_Forwarded as received:_
_Dear Modiji,_
_This is what we honest citizens feel about our Governments - Central and State.._.
_On behalf of professionals & businessmen, I am sending you some facts .._
_Please try to unnderstand_.
_We are not doing Tax '"Chori"'... this is tax saving (a bit of evading too)._
_This is to ensure security of our family, kids and their future for any adversity._
1. _We bought Generators/Inverter in our houses, because Govt. failed to provide constant electricity._
2. _We installed submersible pumps, because Govt. failed to provide water._
3. _We hired own security guards, because Govt. failed to provide security._
4. _We send our kids to private schools, because Govt failed to provide good education in public schools._
5. _We headed for private hospitals to avail proper care and treatment, because Govt. failed to provide good public hospitals._
6. _We bought cars because Govt. failed to provide good transportation._
_Finally.., what the tax payer gets in return at the retirement, when he needs most to survive ?_
_Nothing, no social security_.
_But instead all his hard earned income resource is used by Government to distribute subsidies and freebies in the name of welfare schemes among masses to buy "free votes" to those who don't pay any taxes._
_Above all what Govt do with our (tax) money?_
_Open courts-which do not give judgement._
_Open police station which works for politicians only and not protect citizens._
_Open hospital which do not treat us well._
_Build roads wherein 40-100% of money spent goes in vain due to corruption._
_Endless list...._
_Like western democracies, if Indian Government could provide all the above, why would anyone save taxes ?_
_We all know that the major tax revenues collected from us are consumed by Government officials and politicians (billions of dollars are lying in foreign banks)._
_A manufacturer works at a margin of between 2% to 10% , whereas government needs 30% of his income to cover it's expenditure. How fair it is all ?_
_That's the reason no one wants to pay taxes._
_We save taxes for our necessities, family, for our old age, for our safety, security and this phenomenon is the sign of failure of Government in discharging it's own functions fairly and efficiently. Government alone is responsible for this.😡_
_But on the other hand..._
_We challenge that if Govt announces that Rs.1000 crore is required for Indian Army or floods or earthquake victims !!!_
_The same amount will be deposited within couple of days by these "Tax Savers" only._
_We will come forward with open hearts._
Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."..
😂😂😝😜😂😂
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