This was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making a trip to India.

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who demonstrate tolerance and excellent sense of humor.

Q : Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). 

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA ) 

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden ) 

A: Sure, it's only two thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK) 

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA ) 

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK ) 

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK ) 

A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) 

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) 

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

V Do you have perfume in India ? ( France ) 

A: No, WE don't stink in India.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ? (USA) 

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? (France) 

A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) 

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy) 

A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA) 

A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades).