Which State in India has highest English speaking population?
Answer:
Before 8 pm -- Kerala
After 8 pm -- Punjab
For communication skills, U don't need any classes, Only glasses.
Saturday 18 February 2017
*_ट्रेन में पढ़ी जाने वाली किताबें..._*
*_ट्रेन में पढ़ी जाने वाली किताबें..._*
.
*1AC* -
बिज़नेस मैगज़ीन , मार्क्स, एडिसन, गॅलिलिओ, लिंकन, मार्टिन ल्युथर
*2AC* -
शेल्डन, ब्रुक्स, शेक्सपियर, ऍरिस्टोटल
*3AC* -
गांधी, ओबामा, अब्दुल कलाम, चेतन भगत, ओशो, अरुंधती रॉय, रॉबिन शर्मा, दीपक चोप्रा, शिव खेरा
*Sleeper* -
क्रिकेट सम्राट तेंडुलकर, मनोरमा, फिल्म फेयर, बाबा रामदेव, अध्यात्म
*General* -
प्रेमिका का बदला, खौफनाक हवेली, खूंखार रात, बेवफा से बदला लेने के १०१ तरीके, २१दिन मे मनचाही लड़की पटाये, करंट मारे गोरिया, *30 दिन में डाक्टर कैसे बनें.*
😜😃😂😫😜
एक तनख्वाह से कितनी बार टेक्स दूं और क्यों...जबाब है???
मैनें तीस दिन काम किया,
तनख्वाह ली - टैक्स दिया
मोबाइल खरीदा - टैक्स दिया--'
रिचार्ज किया - टैक्स दिया
डेटा लिया - टैक्स दिया
बिजली ली - टैक्स दिया
घर लिया - टैक्स दिया
TV फ्रीज़ आदि लिये - टैक्स दिया
कार ली - टैक्स दिया
पेट्रोल लिया - टैक्स दिया
सर्विस करवाई - टैक्स दिया
रोड पर चला - टैक्स दिया
टोल पर फिर - टैक्स दिया
लाइसेंस बनाया - टैक्स दिया
गलती की तो - टैक्स दिया
रेस्तरां मे खाया - टैक्स दिया
पार्किंग का - टैक्स दिया
पानी लिया - टैक्स दिया
राशन खरीदा - टैक्स दिया
कपड़े खरीदे - टैक्स दिया
जूते खरीदे - टैक्स दिया
कितबें ली - टैक्स दिया
टॉयलेट गया - टैक्स दिया
दवाई ली तो - टैक्स दिया
गैस ली - टैक्स दिया
सैकड़ों और चीजें ली ओर - टैक्स दिया, कहीं फ़ीस दी, कहीं बिल, कहीं ब्याज दिया, कहीं जुर्माने के नाम पर तो कहीं रिश्वत के नाम पर पैसा देने पड़े, ये सब ड्रामे के बाद गलती से सेविंग मे बचा तो फिर टैक्स दिया----
सारी उम्र काम करने के बाद कोई सोशल सेक्युरिटी नहीं, कोई पेंशन नही, कोई मेडिकल सुविधा नहीं, बच्चों के लिये अच्छे स्कूल नहीं, पब्लिक ट्रांस्पोर्ट नहीं, सड़कें खराब, स्ट्रीट लाईट खराब, हवा खराब, पानी खराब, फल सब्जी जहरीली, हॉस्पिटल महंगे, हर साल महंगाई की मार, आकस्मिक खर्चे व् आपदाएं , उसके बाद हर जगह लाइनें।।।।
सारा पैसा गया कहाँ????
करप्शन में ,
इलेक्शन में ,
अमीरों की सब्सिड़ी में ,
माल्या जैसो के भागने में
अमीरों के फर्जी दिवालिया होने में ,
स्विस बैंकों में ,
नेताओं के बंगले और कारों मे,
और हमें बेवकूफ बनाने मे।
अब किस को बोलूं कौन चोर है???
आखिर कब तक हमारे देशवासी यूंही घिसटती जिन्दगी जीते रहेंगे?????
Wednesday 15 February 2017
प्रेरणादायक कहानी
एक राजा था जिसे राज भोगते काफी समय हो गया था बाल भी सफ़ेद होने लगे थे ।
एक दिन उसने अपने दरबार मे उत्सव रखा ।
उत्सव मे मुजरा करने वाली और अपने गुरु को बुलाया ।
दूर देश के राजाओं को भी ।
राजा ने कुछ मुद्राए अपने गुरु को दी जो बात मुजरा करने वाली की अच्छी लगेगी वह मुद्रा गुरु देगा।
सारी रात मुजरा चलता रहा । सुबह होने वाली थीं, मुज़रा करने वाली ने देखा मेरा तबले वाला ऊँघ रहा है उसको जगाने के लियें मुज़रा करने वाली ने एक दोहा पढ़ा ,
*"बहु बीती, थोड़ी रही, पल पल गयी बिहाई ।*
*एक पलक के कारने, ना कलंक लग जाए।"*
अब इस दोहे का अलग अलग व्यक्तियों ने अलग अलग अपने अपने अनुरूप अर्थ निकाला ।
*तबले वाला सतर्क हो बजाने लगा।*
*जब ये बात गुरु ने सुनी, गुरु ने सारी मोहरे उस मुज़रा करने वाली को दे दी*
वही दोहा उसने फिर पढ़ा तो राजा के लड़की ने अपना नवलखा हार दे दिया ।
उसने फिर वही दोहा दोहराया तो राजा के लड़के ने अपना मुकट उतारकर दे दिया ।
वही दोहा दोहराने लगी राजा ने कहा बस कर एक दोहे से तुमने वेश्या होकर सबको लूट लिया है ।
जब ये बात राजा के गुरु ने सुनी गुरु के नेत्रो मे जल आ गया और कहने लगा, " राजा इसको तू वेश्या न कह, ये मेरी गुरू है।
*इसने मुझें मत दी है कि मै सारी उम्र जंगलो मे भक्ति करता रहा और आखरी समय मे मुज़रा देखने आ गया हूँ। भाई मै तो चला।*
*राजा की लड़की ने कहा, " आप मेरी शादी नहीं कर रहे थे, आज मैंने आपके महावत के साथ भागकर अपना जीवन बर्बाद कर लेना था । इसनें मुझे सुमति दी है कि कभी तो तेरी शादी होगी । क्यों अपने पिता को कलंकित करती है ? "*
*राजा के लड़के ने कहा, " आप मुझे राज नहीं दे रहे थे । मैंने आपके सिपाहियो से मिलकर आपका क़त्ल करवा देना था । इसने समझाया है कि आखिर राज तो तुम्हे ही मिलना है । क्यों अपने पिता के खून का इलज़ाम अपने सर लेते हो?*
जब ये बातें राजा ने सुनी तो राजा ने सोचा क्यों न मै अभी राजतिलक कर दूँ , गुरु भी मौजूद है ।
उसी समय राजतिलक कर दिया और लड़की से कहा बेटा, " मैं आपकी शादी जल्दी कर दूँगा। "
*मुज़रा करने वाली कहती है , " मेरे एक दोहे से इतने लोग सुधर गए, मै तो ना सुधरी। आज से मै अपना धंधा बंद करती हूँ।*
*हे प्रभु! आज से मै भी तेरा नाम सुमिरन करुँगी ।*
समझ आने की बात है, दुनिया बदलते देर नहीं लगती। एक दोहे की दो लाईनों में इतना सामर्थ्य जुट सकता है। थोड़ा धैर्य रखने की ज़रूरत है। *।।हरि ॐ।।*
"प्रशंसा" से "पिंघलना" मत,
"आलोचना" से "उबलना" मत,
निस्वार्थ भाव से कर्म कर
क्योंकि इस "धरा" का, इस "धरा" पर,
सब "धरा रह जाऐगा
"मनुष्य कितना भी गोरा क्यों ना हो
परंतु उसकी परछाई सदैव काली होती है !
"मैं सर्वश्रेष्ठ हूँ" यह आत्मविश्वास है
लेकिन
"सिर्फ मैं ही सर्वश्रेष्ठ हूँ" यह अहंकार है..
अहंकार से जिनका, मन मैला है ,
करोड़ों की भीड़ में भी, वह अकेला है !
👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻
*Shiv Khera, a renowned author and management trainer writes about his experience in Singapore*
*"Six years ago in Singapore I gave a taxi driver a business card to take me to a particular address.*
*At the last point he circled round the building. His meter read 11$, but he took only 10.*
*I said Henry, your meter reads 11$ how come you are taking only 10.*
*He said Sir, I am a taxi driver, I am supposed to be bringing you straight to the destination. Since I did not know the last spot, I had to circle around the building. Had I brought you straight here, the meter would have read 10$.*
*Why should you be paying for my ignorance ?*
*He said Sir, legally, I can claim 11$ but Honestly and ethically I am entitled to only 10.*
*He further added that Singapore is a tourist destination and many people come here for three or four days. After clearing the immigrations and customs, the first experience is always with the taxi driver and if that is not good, the balance three to four days are not pleasant either.*
*He said Sir I am not a taxi driver, I am the Ambassador of Singapore without a diplomatic passport.*
*In my opinion he probably did not go to school beyond the 8th grade, but to me he was a professional. To me his behavior reflected pride in performance and character.*
*That day I learnt that one needs more than professional qualification to be a professional.*
*In one line be a "Professional with a human touch and Values " that makes all the more difference.*
*Knowledge, skill, money, education, all comes later. First comes Human Values, Honesty and Integrity.*
*Professionalism:*
*It's NOT the job you DO,*
*It's HOW you DO the job."*
Demonetisation explained in simple terms:
*Teacher:* Agar 1 aam ke ped par 10 kele lage hain, aur unn mein se 7 amrood tod liye to kitne angoor bache?
*Student:* Sir, 9 Haathi
*Teacher:* Wah, tumhe kaise pata chala?
*Student:* Sir, kyunki main aaj lunch mein gobhi ki sabzi laya hoon.
*Moral of the Story:*
_Roz brush karo warna petrol mehnga ho jayega.._
_*WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!*_
�
*Our Phones 👉 Wireless*
*Cooking - 👉 Fireless*
*Cars - 👉 Keyless*
*Food - 👉 Fatless*
*Tyres - 👉 Tubeless*
*Tools - 👉 Cordless*
*Dress - 👉 Sleeveless*
*Youth - 👉 Jobless*
*Leaders - 👉 Shameless*
*Relationships-👉Meaningless*
*Attitude - 👉 Careless*
*Wives - 👉 Fearless*
*Babies - 👉 Fatherless*
*Feelings - 👉 Heartless*
*Education - 👉 Valueless*
*Children - 👉 Mannerless*
*PARLIAMENT-👉CLUELESS*
*MASSES - 👉 HELPLESS*
Banks. - Cashless 😱
_*Everything is becoming LESS but still our hope in God is - Endless.*_
In fact I am *Speechless*
Sharing a bit sarcastic message from the Vice Chancellor of Mumbai University.
One liners about India that are completely true :
1. If you want to know how divided we are, just look at matrimonial page of our newspaper
2. India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday
3. If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child, if child gets spoiled blame the mobile
4. If someone is asking for dirty cloth to clean something, then you are in India
5. The only country where people fight to be termed 'backward'.
6. In India, you don't cast your vote, you vote your caste.
7. An incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors.
8. Sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it.
9. And the ultimate one:
The country where liking a Facebook post and sending messages on Whats App gets you arrested, while raping does not...
-------------------
May not be good to hear while quite representative of current situation
*Happy Valentine week to all😊*
I am emotional after reading this...
what is *_Love_*?
Love is when my mom kisses me and says mera bachha lakhon me ek hai...
Love is when you come back from work and dad says 'arey beta! aaj bohot der ho gai
Love is when ur bhabhi says ' hey hero ladki dekhi hai tere liya, koi aur pasand ho tou bata dena'
Love is when ur brother says ' bhai tu tension na le, main hu na tere saath
Love is when you r Moodless and your sis says ' chal bhai kahi ghoom kay aatein hai
Love is when ur best friend hugs you and says' abe tere bagair mazaa nahi aata yar....
These all are best moments of love.....don't miss them in life.
Love is not only having a BF or GF.
Love you all who have been a special part of my life...........
Its love,
when a little girl puts her energy to give dad a head massage.
Its love,
when a wife makes tea for husband and take a sip before him.
Its love,
when a mother gives her son the best piece of cake.
Its love,
when ur friend holds your hand tightly on a slippery
road.
Its love,
when your brother messages you and asks did you reach home on time..
Love 💕 is not just a guy holding a girl and going around the city.
Love when you send a small msg to your friends to make them smile
Luv 💕 is actually another name of "care"..
एक लड़की अपने पिता के साथ बैठी हुई थी।उसी समय उसका Boy Friend वहां पहुँच गया।लड़की ने कहा-तुमने लौरेंज फ्लैमिंन की "DADDY IS HOME" किताब लेने आये हो क्या?
Boy Friend-नहीं,रोबिन क्लामिन की लिखी"WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU"किताब लेने आया हूँ।
लड़की-Sorry, ये किताब मेरे पास नहीं है।फिर भी यदि तुमको अमर श्रीवास्तव की लिखी"UNDER THE MANGO TREE" किताब चाहिए तो ले जाओ।
Boy Friend-OK,तुम कॉलेज जाते वक़्त Retail Management Guide की"CALL YOU IN FIVE MINUTES" किताब लाना लेकिन मत भूलना।
लड़की- जरूर,मैं कॉलेज जाते समय "I WONT LET YOU DOWN" किताब लेते जाउंगी।
Boy Friend-बिदाई लेकर चला जाता है।
जाने के बाद लड़की के पिता ने बेटी को कहा।ये लड़का कैसे इतनी किताब पढ़ेगा।
लड़की-पापा ये बहुत ही स्मार्ट,बुद्धिमान और इंटेलीजेंट लड़का है।
पिता जी-ये तो ठीक है ।लेकिन उसको माइकेल क्रूज़ की "OLD MEN ARE NOT STUPID" किताब देना मत भूलना।
Funny side of Mahathma Ghandhi . 😃
When Mahathma Gandhi was studying law at the University College, London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Ghandi came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.
The professor said,
"Mr Ghandi , you do not understand, *a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat.*"
Ghandji looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*"You do not worry professor. I'll fly away,"*
& he went & sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.
The next day in Class he posed the following question:
"Mr.ghandi , if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?"
Without hesitating, Ghandji responded, "The one with the money, of course."
Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."
Mahathma Gandhi shrugged & responded, *"Each one takes what he doesn't have."*
Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Mahathma Ghandi's exam sheet the word "IDIOT"
& gave it to Ghandi
Ghandji took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Mahathma Ghandhi got up, went to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,
"Mr. Peters, *you signed the sheet*, but you did not give me the grade."
Keh keh keh
😅😃. Don't mess with intelligent people..
Sunday 12 February 2017
😳INTERVIEW
Boss-Tumari ability ?
Lady secretary- Young hu, Dynamic hu, Sincere hu, Honest hu,
Hardworking hu, Qualified hu, Experienced hu, Deserving hu,
Typing janti hu, File sahi rakhti hu, Computer me expert hu,
Thoda accounts b janti hu...
Boss: aur kuch.
Lady: Disease free aur healthy hu,
Copper T lagayi hai, 7 positions aati hai,
69 me Expert hu,
aur
Sabse Jaruri Baat k,
Apne flat me akeli rehti hu...!
Boss: Bas kar pagli, ab kya joinning ke Din hee promotion legi !!!!😂😝😂😂😂
Too good an article 👇
It is Perception...
THE SITUATION:
In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent — without exception — forced their children to move on quickly.
At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days earlier, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged over $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:
In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
Are we able to recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?
Enjoy life NOW . . . it has an expiry date!
😊👍💐
All husbands can enjoy 😄😄😄
🔴
Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today .
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
☺😋
🔴
A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
😂😂
🔴
A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......😂😂
🔴
😝😝
🔴
Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
🔴
Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝
🔴
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal :)
😜😜😜
🔴
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁
LAST BUT THE BEST
🔴
Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
😂😂😂
Self Care for 31st Dec
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure : Manoeuver glass until open end is facing upward...
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure : Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : looking through an empty glass.
Cure : Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure : At least ask where they're taking you!
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and tryin to drink from it
Cure : Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure : Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure : Don't move. Let the professionals do their job
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST.
हरिवंशराय बच्चन की एक सुंदर कविता ●•٠
.
❝ खवाहिश ❞ नही मुझे ❝ मशहुर ❞ होने की
आप मुझे ❝ पहचानते ❞ हो बस इतना ही काफी है
अच्छे ने ❝ अच्छा ❞ और बुरे ने ❝ बुरा ❞ जाना मुझे
क्यों की जिसकी जितनी ❝ जरुरत ❞ थी
उसने उतना ही पहचाना मुझे !!
.
ज़िन्दगी का ❝ फ़लसफ़ा ❞ भी कितना अजीब है,
शामें ❝ कटती ❞ नहीं, और ❝ साल ❞ गुज़रते चले जा रहे हैं !!
.
एक ❝ अजीब ❞ सी दौड़ है ये ❝ ज़िन्दगी ❞
जीत जाओ तो कई ❝ अपने ❞ पीछे ❝ छूट ❞ जाते हैं,
और हार जाओ तो ❝ अपने ❞ ही पीछे ❝ छोड़ ❞ जाते हैं !!
.
❝ बैठ ❞ जाता हूं ❝ मिट्टी ❞ पे अक्सर...
क्योंकि मुझे अपनी ❝ औकात ❞ अच्छी लगती है !!
.
मैंने ❝ समंदर ❞ से सीखा है जीने का सलीक़ा,
चुपचाप से ❝ बहना ❞ और अपनी ❝ मौज ❞ में रहना !!
.
ऐसा नहीं है कि मुझमें कोई ❝ ऐब ❞ नहीं है
पर ❝ सच कहता हूँ मुझमे कोई ❝ फरेब ❞ नहीं है !!
.
जल जाते हैं मेरे ❝ अंदाज़ ❞ से मेरे ❝ दुश्मन ❞
क्यूंकि
एक मुद्दत से मैंने
न ❝ मोहब्बत ❞ बदली और न ❝ दोस्त ❞ बदले !!.
.
एक ❝ घड़ी ❞ ख़रीदकर हाथ मे क्या
बाँध ली - ❝ वक़्त ❞ पीछे ही पड़ गया मेरे !!
.
❝ सोचा ❞ था ❝ घर ❞ बना कर बैठुंगा सुकून से..
पर घर की ज़रूरतों ने ❝ मुसाफ़िर ❞ बना डाला !!!
.
❝ सुकून ❞ की बात मत कर ऐ ग़ालिब....
बचपन वाला ❝ इतवार ❞ अब नहीं आता !!
.
जीवन की ❝ भाग-दौड़ ❞ में -
क्यूँ ❝ वक़्त ❞ के साथ रंगत खो जाती है ?
हँसती-खेलती ❝ ज़िन्दगी ❞ भी आम हो जाती है..
एक सवेरा था जब ❝ हँस ❞ कर उठते थे हम
और आज कई बार
बिना ❝ मुस्कुराये ❞ ही ❝ शाम ❞ हो जाती है !!
.
कितने ❝ दूर ❞ निकल गए,
रिश्तो को निभाते निभाते..
खुद को ❝ खो ❞ दिया हमने,
अपनों को पाते पाते..
लोग कहते है हम ❝ मुस्कुराते ❞ बहोत है,
और हम थक गए ❝ दर्द ❞ छुपाते छुपाते..
खुश हूँ और सबको ❝ खुश ❞ रखता हूँ,
लापरवाह हूँ फिर भी सबकी ❝ परवाह ❞ करता हूँ..
मालूम है कोई मोल नहीं मेरा,
फिर भी,
कुछ ❝ अनमोल ❞ लोगो से ❝ रिश्ता ❞ रखता हूँ !!
*What is the difference between the flag ceremony on 15th Aug and 26th Jan?*
An interesting fact I learnt today:
On 15th Aug the flag is HOISTED (from below) and unfurled. Reflecting the very first day in 1947 when it was done so for the first time.
On 26th Jan, the flag is already up there and is unfurled. - 🇮🇳 Happy Republic Day. Jai Hind. 🇮🇳
Somewhere between "Crying loudly to seek attention"
and "Crying silently to avoid attention",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Katti!!" and "Blocked",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
" 7 pani puris for 1 rupee" and
"1 pani puri for 7 rupees",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Ground mai aaja" and
"Online aaja",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Craving for pizza" and
"Craving for home food",
we grew up!
Somewhere between
"Believing in happy endings" and "Accepting the reality",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"stealing eclairs of your sis" and "Bringing Silk for her",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Just five more mins Mom" and "Pressing the snooze button",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Broken Pencils" and
"Broken Hearts",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Crying out loud just to get what we want" and
"Holding our tears when we are broken inside",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"We are Best Friends Forever" and "Knowing that nothing truly lasts",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"I want to grow up" and
"I want to be a child again",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Lets meet and plan" and
"Lets plan and meet",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Eagerly waiting" and
"Forever waiting",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Parents fulfilling our wish" and
"We Fulfilling our parent's dream",
we grew up!!
Somewhere between
"Waking up at 6 am" and
"Sleeping at 6 am",
we grew up!!
And as we grew up, we realized how, silently but surely ,our lives have changed...!! 😊
A rare conversation between
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa*
&
*Swami Vivekananda*
Read it loud to family, it's one of the best message I have come across...
*1. Swami Vivekanand*:- I can't find free time. Life has become hectic.
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa*:- Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you free.
*2. Swami Vivekanand:-* Why has life become complicated now?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:-* Stop analyzing life... It makes it complicated. Just live it.
*3. Swami Vivekanand*:- Why are we then constantly unhappy?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:*- Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
*4. Swami Vivekanand:-* Why do good people always suffer?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa*:- Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer.
With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.
*5. Swami Vivekanand:*- You mean to say such experience is useful?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa*:- Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons later.
*6. Swami Vivekanand:-* Because of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading…
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:-* If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides the way.
*7. Swami Vivekanand:-* Does failure hurt more than moving in the right direction?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:*- Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.
*8. Swami Vivekanand:*- In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:*- Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
*9. Swami Vivekanand:-* What surprises you about people?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:*- When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?"
*10. Swami Vivekanand:-* How can I get the best out of life?
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa*:- Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
*11. Swami Vivekanand:*- One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
*Ramkrishna Paramahansa:*- There are no unanswered prayers. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
*Stay Happy Always!*
खूबसूरत सा एक पल किस्सा बन जाता है,
जाने कब कौन ज़िंदगी का हिस्सा बन जाता है |
कुछ लोग ज़िंदगी में मिलते हैं ऐसे,
जिनसे कभी ना टूटने वाला रिश्ता बन जाता है ||
क्यूँ मुश्किलों में साथ देते हैं दोस्त
क्यूँ गम को बाँट लेते हैं दोस्त
न रिश्ता खून का न रिवाज से बंधा है
फिर भी ज़िन्दगी भर साथ देते हैं दोस्त "
Saturday 11 February 2017
*SORRY, LADIES:*
A HUSBAND'S POINT OF VIEW
At last, a Husband has taken the time and trouble to write down all this.
We always hear 'the rules' from the Wife's side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note..
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Husbands ARE not mind readers.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help with solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. You are in shape... Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight But do you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
😉
*You will love ❤ this special message*👇👌👏
LEAF, BRANCH OR ROOT
I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:
LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.
BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.
ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.
A tree has many limbs and many leaves but there are few roots.
Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have?
What are you in other people's lives?
Can you become a root for many?
- Spiritual life
Once a Chinese man came to Goa for holidays
On the airport he sees a taxi
He enters the taxi and tells the driver to take him to panjim and they proceed towards panjim
On the way the Chinese guy sees a *kadamba* bus... He says *"what is this? The buses here are so slow n noisy... In China the buses are very fast"*
The driver just kept quiet n kept driving
Then they reach Cortalim bridge
The Chinese guy sees a train passing by on the railway bridge the other side...he says *"what is this?? The trains here are so slow... In China the trains are very fast"*
The driver again stays silent and keeps driving
Finally they reach panjim
The Chinese man gets off the taxi and asks the driver how much money he has to pay him...
Driver: 5000rs
Chinese man: 5000?? R u kidding me?? Ur Goan busses r so slow...the trains r so slow...above evrything u drive so slow...if evrything else here is so slow then how come the meter of ur taxi is so fast??
Driver: bcoz that meter is made in China 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
समय की .. इस अनवरत बहती धारा में ..
अपने चंद सालों का .. हिसाब क्या रखें .. !!
दोस्तों ने .. दिया है .. इतना प्यार यहाँ ..
तो दुश्मनी .. की बातों का .. हिसाब क्या रखें .. !!
खुशी के दो पल .. काफी हैं .. खिलने के लिये ..
तो फिर .. उदासियों का .. हिसाब क्या रखें .. !!
हसीन यादों के मंजर .. इतने हैं जिंदगानी में ..
तो चंद दुख की बातों का .. हिसाब क्या रखें .. !!
कुछ तो जरूर .. बहुत अच्छा है .. सभी में यारों ..
फिर जरा सी .. बुराइयों का .. हिसाब क्या रखें .. !!
*"प्लम्बर"* कितना भी
एक्सपर्ट क्यों न हो...?
पर...
वो आँखों से टपकता...
पानी बंद नहीं कर सकता..
उनके लिये तो *"दोस्त"* ही चाहिये ॥
*जीवन मे दो तरह के दोस्त ज़रूर बनाएं ..*
*☝🏽एक ' कृष्ण ' के जैसे, जो आपके लिए लड़ेंगे नहीं, पर ये 'सुनिश्चित ' करेंगे की जीत आप की ही हो ।*
*और ..*
*✌🏼दुसरा ' कर्ण ' की तरह जो आप के लिए तब भी लड़े..जब आपकी हार सामने दिख रही हो।*
बदलो
पानी बदलो.....ज़रा हवा बदलो
ज़िंदगानी की..... ये फ़िज़ा बदलो
कह रही है ये....... दूर से मंज़िल;
काफिले वालो!... रहनुमा बदलो.
तुमको..... जीना है इस जहाँ में..... अगर;
अपने जीने का...... फलसफा बदलो.
आँधियाँ...... तो.... बदलने वाली नहीं;
तुम ही....... बुझता हुआ दिया बदलो
मुस्कुराहट ........मिला के थोड़ी सी
अपने अश्कों का....... ज़ायक़ा बदलो
सारी दुनिया..... बदल गयी कितनी
तुम भी .....!... अब ज़रा बदलो..
The on-duty nurse took the anxious young Army Major to the bedside.
"Your son is here," she said softly, to the old man lying there on the bed.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Major standing outside the oxygen tent.
He reached out his hand.
The Major wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse, observing the touching moments, brought a chair so that the Major could sit beside the bed.
"Thank you Ma'am!" a polite acknowledgement followed.
All through the night, the young Major sat there in the poorly lit ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the officer move away and rest awhile.
He graciously refused.
Whenever the nurse came into the ward, he was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Major released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.
While she did what she had to do, he waited...
Finally, she returned & started to offer words of sympathy, but the Major interrupted her
.
.
.
.
.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Major replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here!"
The nurse listened on, confused.
"When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
"So then what was the purpose of your visit here, at the hospital, Sir?", the nurse queried of him.
"I came here tonight to find a Mr. Vikram Salaria. His son was Killed in J&K last night, and I was sent to inform him."
'But the man whose hand you kept holding whole night was Mr. Vikram Salaria!'
They stood in complete silence. There couldn't be anything more assuring for a dying man than his son's hand!
The next time someone needs you ... just be there! & Just stay!!!
WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE...
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE...
लखनऊ का मशहूर बाजार है
हज़रत गंज।
शाम के 5 बजे बाजार भीड़ से भरा हुआ था। इसी भीड़ में मियाँ बीवी एक दूसरे से लड़ने में मशग़ुल थे और लगभग 200 लोग उनके इस तमाशे का लुत्फ ले रहे थे।
बात कुछ यूँ थी कि बीबी जिद कर रही थी अपने शौहर से आज आप कार खरीद ही लीजीये मैं थक गई आपकी मोटर साइकिल पर बैठ बैठ कर।
शौहर ने कहा ओए पागल औरत तमाशा ना बना मेरा दुनिया के सामने। मोटर साइकिल की चाबी मुझे दे।
बीवी- नहीं, तुम्हारे पास इतना पैसा है । आज कार लोगे तो ही घर जाऊंगी।
शौहर -"अच्छा तो ले लुँगा अब कुंजी दो"
बीवी- नहीं दूंगी।
शौहर- "अच्छा ना दो मैं ताला ही तोड़ देता हूँ"
बीवी ने कहा तोड़ दो लेकिन ना कुंजी मिलेगी ना में साथ जाऊँगी ।
शौहर - "अच्छा तो ये ले में ताला तोड़ने लगा हूँ जाओ तुम्हारी मर्ज़ी मेरे घर ना आना"
बीबी - जाओ जाओ नहीं आती तुम जैसे कंजूस के घर।
शौहर ने लोगों की मदद से मोटरसाइकिल का ताला खोल लिया, अपनी बाइक पर बैठ गया और बोला, "तुम आती हो या मैं जाऊँ"
वहाँ खड़े लोगों ने बीबी को समझाया - चली जाओ इतनी सी बात पर अपना घर न खराब करो।
फिर बीबी नैशनल शौहर से वादा लिया कि वह बाइक बेचकर जल्द ही कार लेगा। दोनों की सुलह हो गयी और दोनों चले गए।
तो जनाब ठीक आधे घंटे बाद उसी जगह पर फिर से मजमा लगा था।
एक बंदा शोर कर रहा था कोई मेरी मोटरसाइकिल दिन दहाड़े चुरा कर ले गया। 😜😜😜😱
Very touching story ....
A man purchased an Enfield Bullet 350cc .. so that could take his girlfriend for long drives. But unfortunately, he was not able to hear his girlfriend's voice while riding on it because of the loud Bullet sound. He got fed up and sold his Bullet n bought Honda Activa.
He got married to his girlfriend and one year later ....
.
He sold activa and bought an Enfield Bullet 500cc again
😂😂😂😂
*प्रिय मित्रों,*
*राजनीति के चक्कर में आपसी सम्बन्ध न बर्बाद करें।अगर आपका कोई साथी आपसे अलग विचारधारा रखता है तो इसका कत्तई ये मतलब नहीं हैं कि वो विद्रोही है। सरदार भगत सिंह कम्यूनिस्ट विचारधारा रखते थे, बिस्मिल आर्यसमाजी थे, और सब के सब देशभक्त थे। जब किसी को खून की जरुरत होती है तो शायद ही किसी पार्टी का नेता देने जाता हो लेकिन आपका दोस्त जरूर जायेगा। जो आपके लिए खून दे सकता है उससे राजनीतिक बात पर बहस न करे।कही ऐसा न हो आप तर्क तो जीत जाये और सम्बन्ध हार जाये ।*
*धन्यवाद😊*
Indian Railway Catering scam
Want to share my personal experience - Last week i was travelling from Visakhapatnam to Howrah in Yesvantpur-Howrah Express. Ordered Veg. meal from the pantry car, as per waiter it was Rs.90/- only.
I have always in mind that these people are charging very high for the meals but never took it seriously. But this time i determined to enquire about it.
Googled about the rate card and menu, found this website,
IRCTC Help: IRCTC Latest Food Menu Rates
I was shocked when i saw the rates -
Veg meals which pantry car person was selling at Rs 90 is only Rs 50/-
Non-Veg meals pantry car rate was Rs 100 is only Rs 55/-
Two more options are also available asStandard Thali Meals- Veg and Non-Veg atRs 35 and Rs 40.
After meals , i handed over Rs 50 to the waiter, but he was demanding 90. I asked him about the RATE CARD, he refused to have any such thing. Shown him the above website and rates, he was like Rs. 50 will be ok but DON'T TELL ANYONE.
I was so furious, travelled all the way from 13th coach to 1st coach to the pantry car. And on my way, informed co-passengers who were taking the meals from pantry about this scam.
Met the Pantry-In-charge. Enquired about this. he was also telling the same story, rate cards are missing right now but will shortly get the new one. About the Jacked price of meal he was mum. Lodge a complaint in his Complaint register , which he handed over to me after half an hour. Initially He was pleading not to write the complaint but after writing the complaint, he was like nobody will see this , it will go into dustbin that's it.
To my surprise, against my complaint (he is obliged to give reason in writing - triplet complaint copies - one has to handed over to customer) he wrote "taken only Rs 50 from customer Bill No XXX and this customer writes complaint every time he travels "
The same situation is in almost every train, pantry car meals price are jacked up as no one question them, no one ask about the rate card.
As per one of the estimate, every day around 25 million passenger travel from Indian Railways , if only 0.5% of these passengers takes either lunch or dinner from pantry cars , even extra rupees 30 on each plate will make these people rich by Rs 37,500,000.
Please do insist for Bill every time you ordered any food from a Railway pantry car.Please do try to forward this to all, as so many depend on Rail travel & can't afford Air.
If you tell a kid a hundred times that he/she is a loser and even in times he/she fought hard he still ultimately lost - will the kid grow up confident & happy?
Then why do Indian school history text books only talk about losses? Why are even their version of heroes valiant losers like Porus, Prithviraj Chauhan , Rana Sangha or Hemu? What is the subliminal message a kid gets ? But more importantly is it even true?
Answer - NOT TRUE
Indian monarchs have won as many times as they have lost and we have had many kings that have been expansionist outside India and total winners out and out. There is ZERO information on these winners in India.
Read our sample list of winners below and think of how many of these names do you really know?
1) Lachit Borpukan & Ahom empire of Assam - beat Mughal armies 17 times & never got conquered
2) Sikh empire of Ranjith Singh & his main general Hari Singh Nalwa - ruled all over Pakistan, Afghanistan & Kashmir - Afghans used to run scared of them
3) Kashmiri king Gulab singh & his general Zorawar Singh - invaded & conquered Tibet
4) Rajendra Chola - Tamil empire was extended to almost all of South Asia
5) Krishnadevaraya of Hampi - Babur never attacked south because he had heard of how powerful this man was
6) Kakatiyas of Orrisa - Consolidated large area in East India and Deccan
7) Raja Sundermal - had his kingdom in Bharatpur in middle of Mughals
8) Rana Kumbha - Thrashed invaders and built a victory stambh
9) Bajirao Ballal - Mughals & Deccan sultans shivered in fear just by his name. Never lost single battle. Expanded Maratha empire all the way till Attock - Pakistan
Most Indians have not even heard these names - but they have all heard how we lost 3 Panipats, how Prithviraj lost to Ghuri, how Ghazni defeated us 17 times, how we lost Plassey, how we lost first war of independence
All subliminal mind games to keep you feeling inferior and mentally
उसका शरीर जर्जर है, लगता है लुटा लुटा सा।।
बाल भी बिखरे बिखरे हैं, लगता है पिटा पिटा सा।।
मस्तिष्क अस्त व्यस्त है, है कहीं खोया सा।।
जाग रहा है पर लगता है जैसे वो सोया सा।।
लगता है तबियत उसकी अब आधी हो गयी है, जी हाँ आप सही समझे उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
😩😫
यार दोस्त जब भी बुलाते सदा वो फंसता था।।
खर्चा भी करता था हरदम फिर भी हंसता था।।
जब भी मिलता मुस्कुराता और हर्षाता था।।
सुखा सुखा लगता है अब, तब बादल सा बरसता था।।
लगता है के अंग्रेजी पतलून अब खादी हो गयी है, जी हाँ आप सही समझे उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
😫😩
अरे खुल्ले दिल का मालिक था, कंजूस हो गया है।।
दो की जगह एक ही खाता, मक्खीचूस हो गया है।।
पार्टी करता मौज उड़ाता क्या रंग वो जमाता था।।
पूरा ऐटम बम था वो, बेचारा फुस्स हो गया है।।
लगता है बीवी उसकी, उसकी दादी हो गयी है।।
जी हाँ आप सही समझे, उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
😩😫
रोज मिला करते थे हम सारे दोस्त गली के नुक्कड़ पर।।
मौक़ा ताड़ते रहते थे और नज़र पड़ोसी के कुक्कड़ पर।।
एक दिन देखा जब मैंने उसे कई कई थैलों संग।।
सोचता हूँ कैसा हो गया, जब नज़र पड़ी उस सुक्कड़ पर।।
पहले साल में हैं जुड़वां, डबल आबादी हो गयी है।।
जी हाँ आप सही समझे, उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
😫😩
कभी तो इसको कभी तो उसको ढूंढता रहता था।।
भंवरे जैसा उड़ता फिरता घूमता रहता था।।
बन गया है पालतू अब पत्नीव्रता पति वो।।
जो हर कली हर फूल को बाग़ में चूमता रहता था।।
लगता उसकी जिन्दगी अब, इन सबकी आदी हो गई है।।
जी हाँ आप सही समझे, उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
😩😫
कहता था शादी का लड्डू एक ना एक दिन खा ही लूंगा।।
पछताना ही है तो क्या, अरे! बाद में ही पछता लूंगा।।
यार दोस्त तुम साथ हो मेरे कभी जो विपदा आन पड़ी।।
तो तुममें से मदद के लिए किसी को भी बुला लूंगा।।
लगता है लड्डू हजम न हुआ, गैस और बादी हो गयी है।।
जी हाँ आप सही समझे, उसकी शादी हो गयी है।।
गुरु : चाणक्य ने कहा था..
आपको एक ही दुश्मन से बार-बार युद्ध नही लड़ना चाहिए वरना आप अपने तमाम 'युद्ध कौशल' उसे सिखा देंगे।
पति पत्नी के संबंधो में भी यही होता है। दोनों योद्धा जिन्दगी भर लड़ते-लड़ते एक दुसरे के वारों से इतना परिचित हो जाते हैं कि युद्ध जिन्दगी भर चलता रहता है पर हल कुछ निकलता नही।
शिष्य : तो फिर गुरुजी, क्या करना चाहिए?
गुरु : *दुश्मन बदलते रहना चाहिये*।
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
*लडकी* :
" पापा जी...
आपसे एक महत्वपूर्ण
बात करनी है..."
*पिता* :
" बोलो बेटा ....."
*लडकी* :
" मैं एक लड़के से
प्यार करती हूँ
और
वह अमेरिका में रहता है .
*पिता* :
" लेकिन बेटा...
तुम
उससे कहाँ मिली...? "
*लड़की* :
" WEBSITE पर
हमारी जन पहचान हुई...
FACEBOOK पर
हम दोनों दोस्त बने...
SKYPE पर
उसने
मुझे propose किया
और
WHATSAPP पर
हमने दो महीने तक
प्यार की बाते की..."
*पिता* :
" ओह !! Really....?
तो
अब
TWITTER
पर शादी करलो...
FLIPKART से
बच्चे मंगवालो...
GMAIL से
रिसीव कर लो...
और
finally
अगर
पति
पसंद नहीं आया तो ...
OLX पे
बेच डालो !!!!!!!
😜😄😂😇🤓😎😊😜😄
PUNCTUALITY!*🤘
A British asked a question to Sindhi company owner:
"How do you Motivate your Employees to be so Punctual"?
😀He Smiled & Replied:
"Its simple; I have 30 Employees & 29 Parking spaces and
One is PAID PARKING! 😆😆😆
14th Feb
दो दोस्त आपस में बातें कर रहे थे,
पहला :~ भाई ये 14 तारिक को क्या है ?
दूसरा :~ तेरे पास बीबी है या गर्लफ्रेंड ?
पहला :~ बीबी है !
दूसरा :~ तो फिर महावीर जयंती है .......!
😜😜😜😜😜😜
Shopping
शाॅपिंग में व्यस्त बीवी का सब्र से
साथ देना भी मोहब्बत है,
,
,
ज़रूरी नहीं की हर कोई ताज महल बनवाता फिरे।
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
*DON'T GIVE ANY CLOTHES TO MAIDS*
*XXXXXXXXXXX*
A lady gave some of her old sarees to her maid n said,.. "Take these, & use them,.. They are of good quality & I don't wanna throw them, just that they are old, you use them all..!!"
After 3 days, maid returned all the old sarees to the lady & said
"Madam, please take back your clothes... Because, your husband thinks, I was you, & ignores ME all the time,..
& I wonder why, from past 3 days, your neighbours Sharmaji, Guptaji, & Mishra ji come & hug me from behind..!! 😛😜😜😛😜😛
Valentine Day
I met a very smart girl, Richa, practising as a lawyer, at the post office.
She was posting about 4 dozen cards.
I asked her what was the occasion?
She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as "Guess Who" and sent to all the married men in and around her society.
She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 2 divorce cases.
So this time she wanted to increase her business...
😃🌹😄❤😀😛😍😂😝😘
Lets stop this mudslinging.
Sasikala has got all credentials to be TN CM. She is uneducated, is corrupt, has criminal charges, no previous experience, her family is corrupt. In fact she is over qualified...
😝
Yesterday Sasikala told Paneer that he is looking very weak and wanted to take him to Apollo for check up......he scooted & gave his resignation instead!!!
Share market couplets
तेजी मे इन्वेस्ट सब करें,
मंदी में करें न कोय ।
जो मंदी में इनवेस्ट करें,
सदा करें एन्जॉय ॥
इन्वेस्टर धागा मार्किट का,
मत तोड़ो छिटकाय ।
मंदी में जो छूट जाए,
तेजी में हाथ न आय ।।
गिरता बाजार देखकर,
दिया इन्वेस्टर बिचारा रोय ।
कैपिटल गेन - डिविडेंड न सही,
इंटरेस्ट भी मिला ना कोय ॥
बड़ा भया तो का भया ,
जैसे शेयर रिलायंस ।
बरसों से मिला ना कुछ,
डूब गया फाइनेंस ॥
तेजी मंदी दोनों चलें,
तभी मार्किट कहलाय ।
तेजी में बेचे न कोय,
मंदी आये घबराए ॥
आलसी - लालची और ऋणी ,
इस मार्किट में ना आये ।
काबू रहें न खुद पे ,
मार्केट पे दोष लगाय ।।
cnbc सुन सुन के मुआ पंडित भया ना कोय ।
सब्र और समझ से काम ले,
वही खिलाडी होय ।।
Saturday 4 February 2017
😂 Happy Republic Day
जिंदगी कब "आज स्कुल में लड्डू मिलेंगे" से "आज तो ड्राई डे है" तक पहुच गई पता ही नहीं चला। 😂😂 Happy Republic Day
Happy winters...
ये 'नहाना' .. भी अपनी
समझ से बाहर है...😕
जिस शब्द मे ही
आगे 'न' है ..
और
पीछे 'ना' है ।
तो बीच मे ये दुनिया
'हा' कराने पर क्यों तुली है....!!!😬😬😬
Happy winters...
Republic day .!!😝
There r many brave people, who always want to fight & be Adventurous.
Some choose
ARMY
& retire soon...
Others get
MARRIED
& fight till Death...
Let's salute them on this Republic day .!!😝
Dry Day
We've to get rid of this dry day concept...
Remember, without a Pub, the Republic is just a Relic...
Q
यक्ष प्रश्न
भेड़ों से नेताजी ने वादा किया कि वे हर भेड़ को एक-एक कम्बल देने जा रहे है।
भेड़ों का झुण्ड ख़ुशी से झूम उठा । उनकी हर्ष ध्वनि से आकाश में चहुंओर मिमियाहट गूंजने लगी।
फिर एक मेमने ने धीरे से अपनी माँ से पूछ लिया : ये नेताजी हमारे कम्बलों के लिए ऊन कहाँ से लाने वाले हैं ?
फिर वहां सन्नाटा था ।।
काश कि ये सवाल लोग राजनीतिक दलो से पूछते कि फ्री चीनी, दुध, घी,
मोबाइल फोन, साईकल , बिजली पानी लेपटॉप आदि कहाँ से ला कर देगें ?
Raaes Kabil
Wife - RAEES Dekhne chalein ?
Husband - Main us KAABIL nahi
Wife- Toh KAABIL chalein
Husband- Main Utna RAEES nahi
..........
Baad mein ghar me bacchon ne DANGAL dekha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Train
पूरे विश्व में भारत ही एक ऐसा देश है
जहाँ आप रेलवे स्टेशन जाकर पूछ सकते हैं कि...
.
.
.
.
भाई 9 बजे वाली ट्रेन कितने बजे आएगी। 😁
😂😜😜😝😜😝😁😂😂
Books
लड़के वाले -- हमको लड़की पसंद है. शादी कब करनी है ?
लड़की वाले -- कुछ रुक जाते है, अभी तो लड़की पढ़ रही है.
लड़के वाले -- तो हमारा लड़का कौनसा बच्चा है, जो किताबे फाड़ देगा.😂😂😂
Husband special*😳😜
*
पत्नी जब कहती है:
~क्या कहा..??
तो इसका मतलब यह नहीं कि उसने सुना नही....
बल्कि वह आपको अपना "वाक्य" बदलने के लिए एक मौका देना चाहती है....!!!
😛😛😜😜😝😝😂😂
Toothpaste
गर्ल :"मेरी 1-1 साँस पे 1-1 लड़का
मरता है..😏😏😏
बॉय :"तो तुम कोई अच्छा सा टूथपेस्ट
इस्तीमाल क्यो नही करती..??😤
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
✋😝😝😝😝😝😝😂😂😂😂
Interview
Finally best answer found😅
Interviewer: why should i hire you ?
Candidate: gareeb ki dua lagegi
😂😂😂😂
Work hard
Son : Dad, aapne kaha tha naa, Ki, mehnat itni khamoshi se Karo ki safalta shor Machaaye.
Dad : Haan.
Son : Meri Girlfriend ko beta hua hai.😂😂
Diet
*Rujuta Diwekar* is the highest paid *dietician* in India. She is the one who took care of *junior Ambani* to lose 108 kgs.
*Her advice to diabetics*:
1. *Eat fruits grown locally* ..... Banana, Grapes, Chikoo, Mangoes. All fruits have FRUCTOSE so it doesn't matter that you are eating a mango over an Apple. A Mango comes from Konkan and Apple from Kashmir. So Mango is more local to you.
*Eat all the above fruits in DIABETES as the FRUCTOSE* will eventually manage your SUGAR
2. Choose Seed oils than Veggie oils. Like choose ground nut, mustard, coconut & til. *Don't choose chakachak packing oils*, like olive, rice bran etc
*Go for kachchi ghani oils than refined oils*
3. Rujuta spends max time in her talks talking about GHEE and its benefits.
*Eat GHEE daily*. How much GHEE we should eat depends on food. Few foods need more GHEE then eat more and vice versa. Eat ample *GHEE. It REDUCES cholesterol*.
4. *Include COCONUT.* Either scraped coconut over food like poha, khandvi or chutney with idli and dosa
Coconut has *ZERO CHOLESTEROL* and it makes your WAIST SLIM
5. *Don't eat oats, cereals for breakfast*. They are packaged food and we don't need them. Also they are tasteless and boring and our day shouldn't start with boring stuff.
Breakfast should be poha, upma, idli, dosa, paratha
6. Farhaan Akhtar's New ad of biscuits - fibre in every bite... Even ghar ka kachara has fibre, likewise oats have fibre. Don't chose them for fibre. *Instead of oats, eat poha, upma, idli, dosa*
7. *No JUICES till you have teeth* in your mouth to chew veggies and fruits
8. *SUGARCANE is the real DETOX* . Drink the juice fresh or eat the SUGARCANE
9. For pcos, thyroid - do strength training and weight training and avoid all packaged food
10. *RICE - eat regular WHITE RICE. NO NEED of Brown rice.* Brown rice needs 5-6 whistles to cook and when it tires your pressure cooker, then why do you want to tire your tummy.
A white rice is hand pounded simple rice
*Rice* is not high is GI INDEX. Rice has mediun GI index and by eating it with daal / dahi / kadhi we bring its GI index further down
If we take _ghee over this daal chawal then the GI INDEX is brought further down._
*B.* Rice has some rich minerals and you can eat it even three times a day
11. How much should we eat - *eat more if you are more hungry,* let your stomach be your guide and vice versa
12. We can *eat rice and chapati together* or only rice if you wish. It depends on your hunger. *Eat RICE in ALL THREE MEALS without any fear.*
13. Food shouldn't make you scared like eating rice and ghee. *Food should make you FEEL GOOD*
14. *NEVER* look at *CALORIES*. Look at *NUTRIENTS*
15. *No bread, biscuits, cakes, pizza, pasta*
16. Ask yourself is this the food my Nani & Dadi ate? If yes then eat without fear.
17. Eat as per your season. *Eat pakoda, fafda, jalebi in monsoon*. Your hunger is as per season. Few seasons we need fried food so eat them.
18. When not to have chai - tea - don't drink tea as the first thing in morning or when you are hungry. Rest you can have it 2-3 times a day and with sugar
19. *NO GREEN tea please.* No green, yellow, purple, blue tea.
20. Eat *ALL* of your *TRADITIONAL* foods.
21. Strictly *NO* to packaged foods / drinks.
22. *Exercise / Walk*
to digest
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